Friday 28 January 2005

Love In a Modern World

Love is quite amazing, the feeling of love, the power of love and the way we react to love is all quite amazing. I think It is one of the most beautiful experiences one can have. This leads me to discuss in depth my thoughts on love itself.

I think love to me at least is caring for someone, making that person you care about happy and doing everything in your power to satisfy them and their needs, I think the feeling itself is also relevant but that really is indescribable, I can only advise those who would like to have an example will need to feel It first.

When one is in a relationship I think it should be essential to commit and also to be as selfless as possible, of course it isn’t possible to be perfect but on the same note one should strive to be perfect for that person, of course this should not involve changing who you are, but of course if you are completely selfless it could result in that.

In regards to selflessness, I think it is also essential to develop a good trust with your partner, some people have a hard time trusting but one must question this, if one does not trust this is very unhealthy. Think of it in a “Trust until proven otherwise”. Question your thinking, has the person ever broken your trust? If not there is really no need to worry.

I think like in every day life one should also watch their actions when they are in a relationship, when one becomes jealous, question the jealousy and see if you honestly have reason to be jealous, if you feel yourself getting upset or angry restrain yourself and ask yourself why this emotion has arisen.

I also think that good communication is very essential in all forms of love, you must talk to the person you are in a relationship with and be completely open to discuss anything, you must be diplomatic, do not react too much when you discuss topics you may not both agree on, be sure to allow your partner to have free will as well. This leads me to forgiveness and how important this can be.

When one is in a relationship it is important to consider that no one person is perfect, everyone makes mistakes, I am sure trust can be broken but it is also important to forgive your partner if you have a flourishing relationship but obviously when too much has been done to you then it is obviously important for you to consider leaving such a relationship.

I once heard a monk say if you want commitment marry a swan.. I think that can be very true, but what may seem like a good idea for all is to act like a swan, care take your partner, see them as equals and think of your actions and really question your emotions. I think commitment and openness is also truly essential.

Now I would like to discuss the things I think ruin relationships, I think it is also a good idea to be aware of the things that can damage a good relationship so as to prevent these things from occurring.

Now the main things I think ruin relationships are a lack of communication, selfishness, lack of control, lack of trust, too much stress and intensity, not balancing your life together, trying to change or control the other person

In regards to communication, I did address this earlier and as stated it is good to be open and communicate with your partner, if this does not occur it can result in a lack of trust or just a lack of interest also.

As I stated earlier selflessness is beneficial to a relationship, when one becomes selfish they forming expectations, when these are not satisfied one will get upset or disappointed, also a lack of trust can also occur when expectations are created, for example expecting your partner to spend time with you but they go off with a friend. I think it is essential to be as selfless as possible. Also the selflessness plays a part of being self controlled.

Self control is important, one must be able to restrain from overreact in a negative way, failure to do this usually results in your partner not being able to cope or being scare of you, this is not something that is of any benefit to oneself, also it is a hard error to mend.

The issue of trust I have addressed in this text many times before, a lack of trust can result in arguments, it can result in paranoia and also create many other negativities. Let go of your self question and be free to trust, for you will find it hard to establish firm ground in any relationship.

Stress is one thing that many people find hard to deal with, I think balancing a relationship is important in stress control. When you are with someone you need to be able to spend a decent amount of time with someone without smothering them, Spending little time together can result in a communication breakdown and spending too much time together can result in boredom, and of course conflict. When one enters a relationship it is important to pursue that which interests you outside of the relationship and maintain ones friendships, of course it is also important to do things together. Maintaining a balance in a relationship helps keep stress levels at a minimum.

I think accepting the person you are with is also important, nobody is perfect, if you have conflicting interests do not try to sway your partner or change your partner to like something they don’t want to like. If you are completely accepting of the person you love this will make your relationship that much easier.

In conclusion I honestly think that love is a wonderful thing but it seems people are loosing interest in each other and pursuing the wrong things, I think if we try to follow these simple ideas and be aware of ourselves we will live much happier and our relationships will be so much more rewarding.

May you all find true love and happiness

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